Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Re-Directing the Ship


It seems I've been frequenting the two steps forward, one step back bit, over and over as of late. The funny part about it, is that I've been accepting and welcoming these movements more than I think I have ever before. This is quite the contrast, as for a couple of years, I have been caught up in the what next, how will I do it, who must I talk to, network, network, move, move. The problem is that in hurried movements and in pressure, we often miss the little things, the whispers, the moments that are placed in our path to tweak our perspective, to be the pivot in our moves; the small exchange that has the ability to alter the course of the day, weeks, or years ahead.  So for these reasons, I've been letting go; letting go of the self-pressure, the worry, the self-inflicted anxiety, the on-going lists in my mind, to re-center.

It is taking some time--as it should, after having spent a couple of years creating expectations of myself, but I can feel the let-go--the release of energy that was draining me more than replenishing.  During the rush, I found myself asking more questions about my goals, where I was headed, what I was doing and why?   If I'm ready--emotionally, equipped enough mentally, questions about these things and my work and how they may affect me as a wife and mother, are all subjects that came to the surface needing to be addressed. 

I hate to be too vague, because my life is in stories, and I need and want to share them--
In due time, I will.

I have faith that in the quiet, there is more. 
It has always been this way for me.
Quiet prayers and solitude will replenish this soul--
because surely, I'm not the captain--only the co-captain of this ship.

2 comments:

Connie April 5, 2012 at 9:32 AM  

Beautiful post, Hon. Your last phrase is my favorite, and I'm sure the Lord's favorite, too.

Eat My Scabs (April) April 5, 2012 at 12:25 PM  

So true. All our lives are filled with stories. It's a lovely moment when we can let go of all the anxiety and pressure and be free. I'm on the same journey. And I'm learning to trust my Captain.

“You must write every single day of your life... You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads... may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.” ― Ray Bradbury
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