pouring over.

For the last five days, I've been careful.

Careful of my intake, careful of my outtake.

It can be a terribly draining task to solely provide for two little ones for extended periods of time, and truth be told, I've been nearly drained for months.

Husband is away hunting for a prize, and sustaining himself on my best-yet batch of energy bars,

Top Roman, chunky beef stew, and whatever else those hunting types insist on eating to survive the life outdoors.  He's with his Dad and his buddy, and each of them is an outdoors man through and through.  They've already been out for five days,

{that counts for something, eh?}  and Pops took down a "monster" buck yesterday. 

As a family, we are praying that Daddy brings home his prize. 

He gets something about every year, but still has yet to bring home "the prize"--the one worth mounting. 

I'm rooting for him. 

Each of us has a prize on the horizon,

 waiting to be brought home...

Husband has a few main life-focuses. 

This week, his eyes are on the antlers.

To each man his own.

So with my time, I've been tending to my children and to myself with much care.  Aware that I'm on the verge of exhaustion quite often, so often that there are moments when I wonder when it'll all come crashing down around me?  I've been laying quite low for the last five days. 

I've cleaned, cooked, cleaned some more, chased many a messes in effort to keep it clean, and have done mass amounts of laundry.  I've organized, wrote lists, sent various levels of correspondence, babysat, made returns, paid bills, created some book marks and sewed some baby bibs.  I've exercised, went to the mall, napped with the babies, exchanged emails with an acquaintance from long ago, attended the most lovely baby shower, mowed the lawn {my right arm is more sore from attempting to start a broken mower than from my Monday morning arm workout. hmm...}, and even moved myself a latter to climb to the top shelf of our garage, whilst full-knowing that Husband spotted a mouse in the garage before he left!

{I'll show you what I was searching for and found, soon.}

Since Friday, I practically removed myself from blog-land and was okay with it,

and limited my time on Facebook.

I haven't read much of anything,

nor can I name one thing that I've watched...

Friends, I am not sure what I've been doing?

However, one thing that has been developing within me during this time,

is the thought that my children need me--more.

They've seen me moving at full-speed for some time.

Last night at the dinner table, Brooklynn talked about me "always working" and "never playing."

When I questioned her notion,

she named about five things that I am always doing...

and it hurt my heart.

It amazed me that at four, she sees where my attention goes throughout the day,

and that it is not always focused on her or her brother.

Although I feel lucky that they are such great playmates,

when she said it, she spurred change.

The struggle that I've been waging within, to keep up,

finally sorted itself out,

and simplifying become more simple.

Prioritize.

  And do the "extras" on my time and not theirs.

{Granted, the day brings many necessities,

and not all of them can be done while the little ones are asleep.}

This morning the thought crossed my mind~

this is all TEMPORARY, the neediness doesn't last forever,

and they'll be more grown-up than you'll be able to handle,

too soon.

Cherish.

This is what I've been learning the last five days,

and its been pouring into me heavy.

What's been pouring on your heart??

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