Determination & Discipline = Happiness

N set his alarm for 4am today so he could go Steel head fishing. After his alarm clock went off I began wondering how long it would take for him to throw off the covers and plant his feet on the floor. But before I could finish thinking this thought, he was up and dressing himself for a morning on the river. 4am is nothing for an outdoorsman determined to catch Steel head. N told me yesterday that he is giving himself 30 days to catch a Steel head, and until he catches one, his daily fishing streak will continue. If he catches one before 30 days he'll "cut back and make it a 3-4 days a week." I smile.

If there is one thing that I have learned throughout our marriage, it is to encourage N's fishing hobby. For a fast-paced, spontaneous, and slightly rambunctious guy like my husband, quiet is not often sought. For a girl who loves her solitude, I don't quite understand this sort of existence, but know that good things are happening when N comes home from fishing with his buddies (who are also very much like him) talking about what a great time he had. Not necessarily because of his friends being there, he says, but because it is quiet. He hasn't quite put the feelings into words, but I know that feeling that he can't get enough of. Serenity. Solitude. It is safe to say that I have no issues with N's time spent fishing, or his die hard determination. With birds chirping, the river moving, and fish jumping--It is a certainty that God is teaching.

I consider N's motivation and determination to succeed at catching a Steel head and compare it with my writing. I was so inspired by him that I even got out of bed at 4:15am today. For the last few days especially, I've felt frustrated with the timing of wanting to be SO many things 100%. Mostly though, it is the writer in me who feels confined. Too much to say in my mind and not enough time to see enough to its fruition. I am a mother, a doting mother at that. I am snobby enough that the thought of a regular sitter for my kids pains my heart and makes me yell "No way!" on the inside. But the urges to sit down and write and create never leave me throughout the day. When I am at the park with the kids, I think in descriptive sentences. While I am on the treadmill, spontaneous writing topics scatter my mind. When I am home and near my computer, I get anxious because the timing is not right. I have children who deserve the most undivided attention that I can give them. They deserve new experiences, to play A LOT, and to be stimulated. I'm struggling to find a balance between giving these things to my children and doing the same for myself.

Just as the past few days have gone, I sit here wondering what shall I do? Will I continue the same sporadic routine and attempt to get some writing in at 8am, maybe 2pm, and on occasion in the late evening? These windows of time have proven to be insuffice, as I look at a handful of posts and ideas that go unfinished and mostly forgotten about. Not the best writing regimen. I must come up with a better plan!

Plan of Action

1. Set coffee pot the night before.

2. Set alarm for 4am.

3. Write/read until the kiddos wake.

4. Attempt my normal daily routine with the fam.

5. Go to bed shortly after the babes.

6. Do it all over again.*

*This plan of action is the first in a series. Once I map out my writing goals and in what time frame I am striving for, I will re-assess and make a more precise plan. This will do for now.

Am I crazy? How do you balance such things in your life?

Cheers and Good Morning!

P.S. N just called to tell me he's on his way home and he had success! With determination and discipline he prevails!