Enlightenment 10/17/2007

As I was reading from The Alchemist tonight an underlined sentence from a previous reading gleamed from the page. It reads, “every blessing ignored becomes a curse.” Each time I tried to continue reading, my eye caught the sentence above with much attraction, and it was after a few failed attempts to move on that I closed the book and began pondering. I knew God was really trying to teach me.

There are various blessings that I have been given that I don’t believe I have lived out fully. In fact, I am not sure there is even one that I have pursued enough to fine-tune, master, or feel so comfortable to freely share with others. I have dealt with a great amount of insecurity and many false beliefs that have led me to believe that who I am and what I have to offer is just average and nothing so important that I ought to spend my days perfecting, or sadly, even enjoying.

The realization that I’ve been living under a false regime while shrugging off the gifts God has blessed me with to be nothing more than mini-talents, saddens me and causes me a bit of embarrassment for how ungrateful I’ve been in receiving these unconditional gifts. I know that God blesses each of us with gifts and talents that He personally chooses to enrich our lives and those around us. And I see how clear it is now, that these blessings are the color that He brings to our lives; the painting and filling in of that beautifully marked canvas.

Annie Dillard sums up what could be the end of some of us when she wrote, “how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” The idea that my life could be full of just that--ideas, and not action, is haunting. How many people are truly living like the merchant in The Alchemist wishing that they could seek their personal legend or their treasure but instead opt to dream and go on living average lives because they're afraid of failure? Too many. I’ve been living like the merchant for a few years now. Instead of embracing the gifts I’ve been blessed with, I’ve avoided them and been unwilling to claim them as my own or enjoy them to the fullest.